God's view

God's view
God's view

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Oh Tristan

He has been a challenge and mystery to us from the day he was born. We are still scratching our heads over this one. Apparently God felt it necessary to grow us in the areas of patience and wisdom. Bless it. Tristan can be sooooo sweet and charming though. He is a snuggle bug (hence his nickname, Bug). He loves to be in the presence of his family and absolutely lives to be ALL UP IN YOUR SPACE. He rises early, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to play (taking after Greg…morning people are so annoying).  He is a ball of enthusiasm and mischief.

And he FEELS.

He has BIG FEELS all the time. He goes from ear piercing screams to bubbling laughter in the snap of a finger (if only it were that easy). He’s hilariously candid and joyful and so so so cute…when he isn’t writhing on the floor with screams and gnashing of teeth over not getting the exact sippy cup he wants but hasn’t asked for but thinks we are all psychic and isn’t it obvious it’s the clean one in the cupboard and not the one he has been using all morning. Sigh. He will blissfully play in the sand and water for hours on end just don’t say it’s time to go or he will KILL ALL THE THINGS. He absolutely cannot stand to sit in a car seat with 5-point harness. I often wonder, while he’s screaming and stiffening his body like a board to prevent me from being able to secure the harness belts, if he is thinking, “Do you like wearing a straight jacket like this, lady? What is next…a rubber room? I need to be FREE!” And don’t even try to dress him in a shirt with a tag at the neck. He will LOSE IT.

His Daddy says he’s stubborn. I’m not sure from where he ever picked up that trait.

 Ahem.

Tristan is now 3. Someone please remind me why we continue to birth babies knowing they will someday have to be 3? Give me a straight jacket and a rubber room. On second thought, I may enjoy the solitude too much and they’d send me home.

Among these struggles Tristan has some serious tummy issues. Long story short… his tummy ails him so his behavior worsens and he is often inconsolable. We have so far figured out that he is extremely gluten allergic (probably Celiac status) and according to a recent blood allergy test he is allergic to practically every grain and tree nut known to man. That list includes soy, almond and coconut people. Take a quick look in your pantry and tell me how many things contain those ingredients. That’s no joke.



In my opinion, because of his tummy woes his speech has suffered. At first we thought he might be hearing impaired but an ABR test ruled that out. Yep, a few thousand dollars later and the little stinker can hear perfectly. We began speech therapy but because our insurance is pretty much worthless neither the ABR nor therapy was covered so we had to discontinue it. He managed to pick up new words and his comprehension is right on target. He’s very smart. Bless his heart, he just can’t get the words out of his mouth.


Well being 3 does have one perk…the Arlington ISD will now enroll him in speech therapy pending an assessment at NO CHARGE. Sweet! So we hit our knees and began to pray that God will place him with a wonderful therapist with whom he can connect and feel comfortable. The first step, however, was the assessment.

His assessment was at 10am which is pretty late into our morning. On the way there T hit full meltdown mode. It all began when I asked him to put his shoes on to walk to the car. I know, right...the horror. You would have thought I asked him for a kidney. When we managed to get to the car with shoes on he quickly realized he was going to have to sit in his car seat and well that just wasn’t happening Moms. I wrestled him in and frazzled as I was drove him screaming the entire way to our meeting. I wrestled him out of the car and into the building where the halls echoed loudly. I was practically dragging him at this point and I could tell everyone thought I was doing a really great job as a Mother. One lady with a soft sweet voice greeted him while another made a bottle of bubbles magically appear from her desk drawer.

Snap!

T realized there were more people in the room than just him and me and …like a switch…he got cute. Like puppy-eyed, blonde hair, pouty lip, catching bubbles kind of cute. Well played kid.

I was just thankful they witnessed a little piece of that action I am graced with EVERY LIVING DAY. It’s super precious.

He brought this cutie pie alter ego into the assessment with him and had soon charmed the socks off the two assessors. (No I’m kidding ya’ll. He really is a sweetie. His alter ego is who I dragged into the building with screaming and gnashing of teeth.) T answered every question. EVERY question. And he answered them all correctly. He loved all the manipulative games and the picture flip book. They were greatly impressed.

Unfortunately and as suspected, Mr. T has a pretty serious speech delay. He has very few consonants and replaces them with a “w.” He tries, at least, to say and repeat words. They just won’t come out right. But praise the Lord he has made a way. After a meeting with the instructors, speech therapist and us, T will begin therapy on a weekly basis. He will be picked up by an instructor from his daycare across the street and brought by bus to the school for therapy. Now tell me God wasn’t in those details that we just so happen to place T in a daycare right next door to the school that offers speech therapy. A great friend of mine would say, “Coincidence? I think not.” Amen to that!

One of my all time favorites from Spring 2013
While each and every day has its own set of challenges and troubles, God is in control. He so loves us and loves our T man. We won’t worry about tomorrow because we trust the Lord. The instructors are confident in T’s ability to progress quickly in therapy because as they said, “He’s one smart dude.”

And so dang cute I can’t hardly stand it.

Matthew 6:34 MSG Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Matthew 6:34 NIV Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Jeremiah 29:11 NLT “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.



Morning people
One of T's favs...Meme

T & his Bubba
Another one of T's favs...Grammy

Monday, September 22, 2014

Run the Race


As many of my friends and relatives know by now, I am training for a marathon in December. Training began in June with the group from Luke’s Locker in Colleyville. My friend, Cardiologist, and employer, Dr. Wray, encouraged me to join the group. Our conversation around the office has made work days a lot more enjoyable. We joke about our tired legs and snail pace in the Texas summer heat. It’s really been a lot of fun.

Yet it’s such a struggle.

Each day has its own set of challenges. One morning I may pop awake ready to go while other days it is everything I can do to get out of bed. Some runs are energizing while others are draining. My muscles hurt. I’m tired. I’m HUNGRY. It’s hot…so dang hot.

I’ve only been routinely running since the beginning of the year when I trained for Cowtown half marathon in February. It was an amazing experience and accomplishment I will never forget…both a physical and spiritual high. Every time I ran I listened to worship music while lifting hands, praising Jesus, and singing out loud when I felt moved. Jesus fueled me.

Recently I have focused more during my long runs on talking with others getting to know them than on listening to music or praising Jesus.

And I have struggled.

I have felt like a lead weight…heavy…weak. I longed for the lightness and the lift I felt before. Every run drained me and I just didn’t understand. Is it the heat? Is it my diet? Is it stress on my body? Maybe it’s a little of all of those things. Mostly, it’s Jesus.

I set my goals before my God. This isn’t me. This isn’t my style. I’m not a runner first and child of God second. No wonder I was struggling.

This past weekend our group run was a giant 18miles…new territory for this rookie. I heeded the advice of a great friend and runner in regards to preparation. I ate the right things at the right time, got good sleep, and took enough fuel for my run. While all of those things are great, a runner loses confidence when the mental game defeats you. So I armored up by making a playlist of worship and tempo songs. I wasn’t facing Goliath with only a sling shot and a rock…I was bringing Jesus.

And there it was…the confidence and lightness in my Spirit I had been longing for all this time. Jesus had my back, my side, and the path set before me. Some of the runners and I sang and praised Jesus all along those 18 miles. And we were strong. We were uplifted. Praise the name of the Lord.

My encouragement to you is that no matter what your course is today…4 miles or 18… cool weather or hot… uphill resistance or fast… you got this. Set your eyes on Jesus and run the race set before you. Obviously, I am not only talking to runners but to anyone with a struggle today. Whatever the Goliath is in your life…take it to Jesus. With every step and every breath you take praise the name of Jesus. Call on his Spirit power to strengthen you and rebuke all else.

There are so many issues on the daily in my life that trip me up…a mean-spirited coworker, a stubborn child, a scary diagnosis, too many hats to wear and too many tasks to get done. All of this stuff comes along as we race towards the finish…that you can bet on. Living a life in relationship with Christ is not the absence of obstacles…it’s choosing to draw on the strength to overcome them.

He is mighty to save. (Zephaniah 3:17)

And if you’re really lucky, God sends helpers along the run…great friends who speak life and love in truth over you. Friends like Daniel who messages you the day before a long run to help you mentally and physically prepare because he has been down that path before and has learned a thing or two. Friends like Angela who cheers you on from start to finish. Friends who cut you slack when you are hard on yourself. The friends who never judge and always encourage. Friends like Becca who wakes up early with you to run hills or a parking garage. The friends who send you a devotional or scripture verse just because they were thinking of you. The Jesus friends.
 
Oh my soul.

And don’t get me started on my man. He’s a runner’s spouse and that takes a lot of commitment and support. Greg is my biggest fan and greatest supporter. I couldn’t do it with him.

Thank you, Jesus, for your outpouring of blessings. I am undeserving.

Hebrews12:1b-2 And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Epiphany

I'm so behind on my blogging. I've been meaning to post this one for over a week.

Do you have that one friend who every time you see her you pick up right where you left off no matter how long it has been? You know that friend who will ask you what seems like the simplest of questions only to find yourself bearing your soul. The kind of friend who listens…like really listens with her eyes locked on yours and an open mind. The kind of friend who doesn’t judge you, yet always challenges you to be a better version of you. I do. I have a friend like that, praise be to God.

I saw this friend one Friday night after not having spent much time with her in months. We embraced and agreed it had been too long since we hung out. She asked me how things were going with my kids – a simple and pretty common question among mommies, right?  Then I began my explanation, “Oh girl I was just asking for prayer for my relationship with Tristan. Now that Micah has gone to Kinder and it’s just me and T I can really focus on him which is something he has probably craved his entire life, but hey he’s the second child so you get what you get. Anyway, I can really focus on understanding him. Today I wanted to just hang out with him so we made pancakes and baked zucchini bread and oh man how that boy LOVES to cook. He’s a picky eater but he really loves to cook and I just know we are going to have so much fun cooking together when he grows up. I mean I just haven’t loved him well because I’ve always been so in love with Micah.”

And then my heart sank…

There it was…this epiphany moment…how is it that I haven’t been able to find the words or get my tired Mommy brain around these simple truths? Tristan needs me.  He needs ME. God gave him this crazy, type A, high energy, hot tempered Mommy because he needs me. We are so much alike. Our tempers are explosive. Our energy MUST be expensed. Yet we love passionately.  We both adore Micah and Daddy.

Oh how this Mommy needs Tristan.

He is teaching me to be a praying Mommy…a patient, flexible, creative, Mommy. Sadly, most days he gets an at-her-wits-end crazy Mommy but God isn’t through with me yet. God is showing me all the ugliness in my heart …the selfishness, pride, impatience, and anger. It is painful. Growing and stretching and transforming to the likeness of Jesus is often so very painful…not because God is cruel, but because I am so attached to my stuff  I feel like He is amputating a leg. How ridiculous that I have allowed satan to convince me I cannot survive without my stuff, so much so that I believe it’s a useful appendage?

Lies straight from Hell.

My stuff and all its ugliness is a parasite that will be my demise. It is destroying me and everyone around me. Thank you, God, for loving me so much to not leave me in this state of decay. Lord, thank you for cutting away every part of me that steals life instead of gives it. Thank you for your mercies new with each day. You teach me daily that I can be a better version of me than I was yesterday by your grace if I only pray to you and call on the Holy Spirit power.

He reminds me of Tristan’s life verses and how much truth they speak over us.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.” -Jerimiah 17

Lord, help me to trust in you every moment of every day. When tantrums come, tempers heat, and tears fall, I will trust in you. When sleep is lost and the crazy train pulls in, I will trust in you. When there are more tears than laughter in a day, I will trust in you.

He's just sooooo cute...it saves him every time.
 
 
More to come about this little cutie in my next post. More about Micah man and all his awesomeness and even more blessings from my amazing friends. God is good!