Beauty from Ashes

Dogs are amazing creatures. They are unbelievably loyal and unconditionally loving. They teach you that training a youngster with routine and discipline has valuable lifelong effects. Dogs teach you the importance of friendship, fun, and riding in the car with the wind blowing through your hair.

Dogs can also teach you about aging in all its indignity. And one day it’s time to say goodbye to an old friend. You experience sorrow and grief… maybe for the first time or maybe it’s a familiar place…a place God needs you to revisit for perspective, sharpening, refining.  I have to admit that grieving through loss is not new to me.

2/13/2002 - 8/5/2014

Yesterday, I kissed a furry little snout one last time and bid my faithful friend farewell.  She was getting old and thin and I knew the time was coming soon but we are never really ready to lose someone we love. Now this may come as a surprise to some, but I sobbed -- horrible, uncontrollable, ugly sobs. The boys didn’t know what to think of me. They were all genuinely so concerned with why Mommy was so sad. They wouldn't leave my side and smothered me with hugs and kisses.

My  Lord. Thank you for those precious moments.

A friend of mine blogged just yesterday about seeing Jesus in the ordinary moments of her ordinary life. It was a great comfort to me to read her words in the midst of my grieving.  You can read it here and I suggest that you do. She’s a beautiful writer. So I’m reading her blog and sobbing and praying and thanking God for all the years he graced me with such a sweet companion.

This little girl was given to me as an encouragement to be brave during a very vulnerable, scary time in my life. She accompanied me to big ol’ Texas in 2002…my Exodus, if you will. She was at one time the only thing I could call my own and the only friend I knew. We grew up together. She has been by my side through the beautiful transformation that comes when a soul surrenders to her Lord.

I realize that this may all be a little too sappy to be over a dog (especially for me). And it is. And I’m just not getting the words right ya’ll but it’s more than just a dog. It’s an entire chapter of life with all its hurt, tragedy, joy, love, birth, and breath. God has been so faithful to me…to my boys. I feel like this post only gives you a small glimpse of a big beautiful canvas God has painted that is our life…our journey. God is so faithful.
 

And what is the beauty to find among the ashes…

…a concerned 3 year old looking deep into my eyes asking, “Mommy? Cwy?” and giving kisses to any knee, shoulder or elbow he can reach.

…a sweet 5 year old drawing picture after picture filled with hearts and Jesus and love to cheer me up.

...a caring husband who stepped in during the hardest part so that I didn’t have to endure it.

…and friends who met us in our grief to let us know we were not alone.

That is one beautiful life. How did I ever get here?

That same scenario can be replayed in any sorrowful or joyful situation we have encountered as of late and it will play the same. Immanuel, God with us, every step of the way. Never once did he leave us.

Friends, either choose to see the grace of God in the ordinary moments that play out your life or choose to sit in your sorrow…your sin…your loneliness…your selfishness. Those who know me well know that I can totally be a Negative Nancy and wallow in self pity and depression. I’m trying to be better in Christ who strengthens me (Phil 4:13). I’m trying to ask God to give me eyes to see his light in the darkness. I’m trying to look for His extraordinary love in the ordinary moments. I’m learning to embrace His love, count my blessings, and love like this moment may be the last…

…because it just might be.

Fancy enjoying PB pie on her 12th birthday

To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. –Isaiah 61:3

Our family anthem…